Gonna Turn that Witch Hunt into a Bitch Hunt

January 8, 2017

As I told the New York Times, all this focus on Russian hacking of my glorious landslide election is nothing more than a “political witch hunt.” It’s like the witch hunts they used to have in Winston-Salem, Massachusetts. It’s nuts.

Instead of witch hunts, we should have bitch hunts, like we had during the election when I schlonged Hillary Clinton. Man, I miss those “Lock her up!” chants. Gonna spend my first hundred days looking for “nasty” women to demonize. My new fight song: Elton John’s “The Bitch is Back.”

One more thing: I don’t think becoming Super Baby DonDon was enough of a promotion. From now on it’s Exalted Super Baby DonDon, Supreme Glorious Leader. Or is Exalted Super Baby DonDon, Glorious Supreme Leader better?

OK, for now it’s just Exalted Super Baby DonDon. Hmm, seems a little skimpy.

Whatever. You will bow down.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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