January 8, 2017
As I told the New York Times, all this focus on Russian hacking of my glorious landslide election is nothing more than a “political witch hunt.” It’s like the witch hunts they used to have in Winston-Salem, Massachusetts. It’s nuts.
Instead of witch hunts, we should have bitch hunts, like we had during the election when I schlonged Hillary Clinton. Man, I miss those “Lock her up!” chants. Gonna spend my first hundred days looking for “nasty” women to demonize. My new fight song: Elton John’s “The Bitch is Back.”
One more thing: I don’t think becoming Super Baby DonDon was enough of a promotion. From now on it’s Exalted Super Baby DonDon, Supreme Glorious Leader. Or is Exalted Super Baby DonDon, Glorious Supreme Leader better?
OK, for now it’s just Exalted Super Baby DonDon. Hmm, seems a little skimpy.
Whatever. You will bow down.