February 2, 2017
Okay, it’s time for Super Baby DonDon to act freakin’ presidential and try to rally support for my deplorable education secretary nominee, Betsy DeVos. Two Republican turncoat senator bimbos have already come out against her and if there is another Republican defection she will be toast.
Here goes: This is a woman who never got a break in life. Despite being enormously wealthy, her parents refused to buy her enormous breasts. Having so much from the get-go was not easy. I know how hard it is to be a rich man’s son. It messed up my personality bigly.
But Betsy DeVos has always been dedicated to education, a feeling that was reinforced by her academic success at the College of Dressage and Secretariat University. Senators, I know some of you have been startled by her encyclopedic lack of knowledge about education. But an incompetent system demands an incompetent leader, and it’s hard to imagine an education secretary who knows less about public education than Betsy DeVos. The fact that she didn’t bother to study for her confirmation hearing is another argument in her favor.
And if you don’t believe me, consider what Rick Perry had to say: “Betsy DeVos may be almost as smart as I am.”