Fake News!!

June 28, 2017

So yesterday, a few hours after Sarah Huckabee Shuckabee basically said that the Super Baby DonDon White House never lies, the Washington Post came out with a story about fake news.

Yes, yes, yes!! Oh, the story said I did the fake news? Oopsie.

Apparently, some of my adoring employees created a fake 2009 Time magazine cover with a beautiful orange face on it and we hung it up at four of my golf clubs and at Mar-a-Lago. (One tipoff that it was fake was a subhead on the cover: “Trump Member Said to Be ‘Ginormous,’ Anonymous Sources Say.”)

Before I went into politics, I had appeared on precisely one Time cover. But that didn’t stop me from speculating recently that I had been on more Time covers than anyone. Turns out I’ve been on 11 covers, but Nixon was on the cover 55 times. (Hey, pretty close for government work.)

That’s ironic since we both have Dick as part of our names. He is Tricky Dick and my Secret Service nickname is Dickwad. But there the similarities end. Tricky Dick resigned in disgrace. I will resign in triumph!

And, one way or another, Time will put me on the cover.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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