August 23, 2016
Baby DonDon rarely says this, but he made a mistake. And the mistake’s name is Rudy Giuliani.
When we watched Rudy become unhinged during his frenzied convention speech, we probably should have had men in white coats remove him from the stage, shouting the words “stroke” and “embolism” to give him—and us—some cover.
But we didn’t and now even we have been embarrassed by some things Rudy has said. And we don’t embarrass easily, that I can tell you. A week ago, Rudy said there hadn’t been a successful Islamic terror attack on the U.S. until Obama and Crooked Hillary came into office. Forgetting 9/11 should have been a clear sign that Rudy had, cognitively speaking, left the building.
But we kept him on, partly because I look better by comparison. Rudy’s full-on bonkers act was helping me look quasi-presidential.
But now we’re pivoting because Rudy’s attacks on Madam No Strength No Stamina aren’t up to our usual subtle standards. “She looks sick,” he told Fox. Then he slammed Hillary for being seated at a law enforcement meeting. MSNBC showed the tape and it turned out everyone else was seated too. That made us look stupid. A Democratic operative summed up our concerns when he said Rudy “sounds creepy and he sounds out of control.”
Thanks for everything, Rudy, but enough is enough. I’ll visit soon. I hear shuffleboard and knitting are very relaxing.