February 17, 2017
I am a man of vast hugeness, of immense vastness, bigly I am. Does this Reddit dweeb not know how titanic I am? I am THE Titanic!
I’m a very big man. I’m so big that in the last year I even grew an inch, whereas most of my contemporaries are shrinking.
Like the Titanic, all the parts are huge, including the hands, especially the hands, where the hell are my freakin’ hands in these pictures? What am I, an amputee? Lowlife scumbucket asshat.
I’m going to go chillax with Celine Dion now.
The following two tabs change content below.
Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon.
He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.