White Goddess

January 14, 2018

I thought I was the whitest person in America, but have you checked out Kirstjen Nielsen, my head of Homeland Security? The woman’s ancestry is, like, 277% Norwegian. Her hair is so freakin’ blonde it’s scary. I don’t think she can see her reflection in a mirror.

This is a woman I would rent to.

So today she told Fox that she was offended that anyone would call me racist. Offended, yeah, that’s the ticket. Thank you, baby, here’s one big pussy grab back at you.

Love the hair, just love it.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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