Look Out Below!

July 25, 2016

People, it has happened.

According to Real Clear Politics, Baby DonDon is leading Crooked Hillary in national polls! Even the ultra-liberal mumblecrust Huffington Post has me tied with Hillary.

Wow. I can feel an entire nation trembling.

The stock market is falling on this news. You may be surprised, but I agree with people who think the market will collapse if I win. I don’t know why, but Baby DonDon scares people. Since that’s true, I am buying puts on the market that expire right after the election. If I win and the world falls apart, at least I will make $2 billion from the puts.

If Democratic disunity continues, you may well have a president Baby DonDon. Sorry if that turns your 401(k) into a 201(k), but that’s just the way I roll.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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