April 23, 2017
Has any president ever done this before? No? I didn’t think so. Yes, it is an achievement, just not the one I was looking for.
Boy, can the Wicked Bitch of Trump Tower hold a grudge. It’s like I start every day by reading The Grudge Report. I’m so frustrated, I’m thinking of bombing Slovenia. That ought to send her a message. I’d divorce her in a heartbeat, but she’s got those pee-pee videos and the ones where I dress up like Little Bo Peep. Oh, and the one where a naked Chris Christie sits on me. No one wants to see that.
Time to beef up the White House intern pool with women I met through the Miss Universe pageant. Tell ‘em to come to the White House wearing a bathing suit and kneepads.
Speaking of which, does anyone know if Monica Lewinsky is busy these days?
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