Listen to Me, Baby DonDon!

 

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August 4, 2016

So Mr. Universe, Reince Priebus, is going to sic Rudy Giuliani and Newt Gingrich, the Stability Twins, on me for a campaign intervention. Good luck with that. Are they also going to give Baby DonDon marital advice?

Together, Rudy and Newt ran for president 14 times and got 67 votes. But I’ll listen. I’m a great listener. I’m one of the world’s top ten listeners. Top five. Just ask Dr. Ben “I Brought My Own Fruit Salad” Carson. My advice to Rudy and Newt: start the meeting with two hours of praise. Baby DonDon likes praise. Puts me in a listening mood.

Or you can leave right after the praise. Whatever.

Remember: My Life Matters!

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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