July 21, 2017 Damn, we won’t have Spicy to kick around anymore. He quit today because I hired that empty suit known as The Mooch to be head of White
Month: July 2017
I Just Got the World’s Biggest Stiffie!
July 19, 2017 As you know, I have won many awards for stiffing contractors, including a Lifetime Stiffie for bankrupting small businesses. But this latest honor, wow, I hardly have
Take That, Rome
July 19, 2017 Why shouldn’t I have appointed frozen-faced, zombie-eyed Callista Gingrich as ambassador to the Vatican? If Pope Francis doesn’t like the fact that she carried on a six-year
It Sucks to Be Me
July 18, 2017 Oh sweet Jesus, my only semi-awful Trumpcare bill is now DOA. American patients were supposed to be DOA, not my semi-beautiful bill! And today the formerly boot-licking
Coed Prisons? Great Idea!
July 17, 2017 Lovely Ivanka and that slimeball Jared are lobbying me hard to create coed prisons. And they are so right. We must do this. The religious right is
The Latest Outrage!
July 17, 2017 I may not read but I can see, and what I see on the cover of the latest issue of The New Republic is disgusting and totally
Transparent
July 15, 2017 My son Don Jr. is totally transparent. I am nothing if not transparent. It’s who we are. It’s what we do. It’s how we roll. You will
You Can’t Fake Good Meetings
July 14, 2017 Oh, jeepers, DonDonJr. was lying to Sean Hannity and everybody else by “forgetting” there was a fifth person in the room during that famous meeting. Good forgetting,
That’s My Boy!
July 13, 2017 Hey, I couldn’t do the Time photo shoot because I’m busy trying to start another French Revolution. Man, the food sucks here in Paris. Fret not, Don
The Endgame
July 12, 2017 So yesterday Mike Pence’s office issued a statement that the vice president is “not focused on stories about the campaign, particularly stories about the time before he
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