June 24, 2017 So I lied when I warned Comey about the non-existent “tapes.” Sorry to shock you, my faithful followers. I just did that to mess with Comey—that choirboy
Month: June 2017
So Much Winning, So Much Whining
June 22, 2017 You people, in your halting way, are trying to tell me things and I am listening. People, I am your ears! And you’re saying that the most
RBF
June 21, 2017 Yeah, I’ve got my Resting Bitch Face on this morning. Most mornings, come to think of it. Because of my job. And its general suckiness. Demanding job.
I Would Get Rid of Jared First
June 16, 2017 So those turd-wranglers Mika and Joe said this morning that I had to fire Steve Bannon to save my presidency. They said Steve had caused my approval
What If Pence Doesn’t Pardon Me?
June 15, 2017 So some people are saying that if it’s clear I have committed crimes maybe Mike Pence won’t pardon me because doing so would be bad for the
Dead Man Walking
June 15, 2017 So Mike Pence came by the Oval this morning and said, “I’m a Christian, a conservative and a Republican—in that order. Call me Mr. President.” Then he
I Soiled Myself with Pleasure
June 13, 2017 Wow. Yesterday I got buckets of unexpected praise on live TV from every member of the cabinet after I suggested they all dose me with unexpected praise.
Wham, Scam, Thank You, Ma’am
June 12, 2017 So last week, on the day the awful lefty rag Forbes ran a story outing me for profiteering on my son Eric’s cancer kids charity, Eric went
Thermonuclear Vindication!!!!!!!
June 9, 2017 Did you see the cage match between Jim Comey and the truth yesterday? So that’s what “complete vindication” looks like. Who knew? So, you want to know
Contingency
June 7, 2017 So Michael Sissykoff of Yahoo News is out with a horrible story that no top lawyers will represent Super Baby DonDon. Lies! All lies! Sissykoff quotes some
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