August 16, 2016 Did you catch Rudy Giuliani’s great history rewrite yesterday? He said there had been no Islamic terrorist attacks in America until Barack Hussein Hussein Hussein Obama and
Month: August 2016
Hi, It’s Me, Mr. Mellow
August 15, 2016 Folks, do you think it’s a coincidence that ISIS rhymes with crisis? No! No, of course, you don’t. That’s because you’re smart. Smart like Baby DonDon. So
Blow Up
August 15, 2016 Oh, those media pishtwaddles are gunning for Baby DonDon again. A Wall Street Journal editorial today says that if I don’t change my act by Labor Day,
My Hair–and ISIS
August 14, 2016 Tomorrow I’m going to give a big speech in Ohio about ISIS. But what Baby DonDon is really focused on right now is my hair. I’m using
Steel Balls and Corey
August 14, 2016 Where are my strawberries? Some asshat took them! Melania! Melania! Where are my freakin’ strawberries? All I have are these stupid metal balls Ivanka gave me. “Daddy,
Putin On the Ritz
August 13, 2016 So Karl “The Backstabber” Rove is in The New York End Times today describing me as “confused and scared.” Hey, Karl, would you be confused and scared
It’s a Civil Rights Issue
August 13, 2016 Yesterday in the great city of Altoona (what an armpit), I said, “The only way we could lose, in my opinion—I really mean this Pennsylvania—is if cheating
I Wish I Could Sleep!
August 12, 2016 It’s really hot here in Pennsylvania and Baby DonDon is having a bad hair day. I just learned that during the convention some Twitter users referred to
I Am So Honored
August 12, 2016 Wow, what a surprise. Yesterday I said that President Barack Hussein Obama deserved the most valuable player award from ISIS. Little did I know that in the
The Birds and the Bees
August 11, 2016 Is this a great father/daughter photo or what? Here is my little Ivanka at age 15 at Mar-a-Lago and you can just see how
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