The So-Called Resistance

February 6, 2017

So, just because your fearless leader, His Exalted Super Baby DonDon, DESTROYS an incompetent verdictizer by calling him a “so-called judge,” that well-known sheep-stroker Michael Moore calls me the “so-called president.” Hey, flub-tub, I will end your so-called life. I think I can do that. I’m the president.

But first we’ll use some “so-called” torture on you. We in the DonDon household are so glad the TV show 24 is back on the air because not only does it demonize Muslims, it also shows torture works! God, I love torture scenes, don’t you? Like the one in the movie Casino where they put the guy’s head in a vise and tighten it until his eye pops out. Yowza!

Why they didn’t do the other eye, I don’t know. I would have done the other eye too. I wish Ivanka, Jared, Steve the Beast and I could do that to Chuck Schumer. Or Amy Schumer. Or, if things don’t break right, Sol and Bessie Schumer. As the Rolling Stones said in what I believe was a non-interrogation context, you can’t always get what you want.

Gee, all this reminds Super Baby DonDon of when I was a kid and threw rocks at babies in the playground. Fun!!!!

And now, instead of rocks, I have nukes. Hey, all you so-called judges, I have nukes! Care to rule against me again?

I didn’t think so.

Sorry, have to run now. I’m supposed to phone my so-called wife. She has marital nukes, that I can tell you, and she is threatening to use them.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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