That’s My Boy!

DonDon Jr.

March 4, 2017

Okay, okay, okay. Today’s Wall Street Journal reports that the month before the election, DonDon Jr., son of Super Baby DonDon Sr., received at least $50,000 for giving a speech to a French think tank whose leaders are allies of Vladimir Putin.

And not just allies. In December one of them nominated Vlad “No Man Boobs Here” Putin for the Nobel Peace Prize. This, I assume, was for killing journalists to rid the world of fake news. I will do so much more to eliminate the scourge of fake news—and I will win the prize!

But back to my son. DonDon Jr. is very wealthy and cannot be bought for $50,000. It will cost you more like $250,000. You think I raised a piker?

No, I proudly raised a DonDon whose first words as a toddler were “conflict of interest” and “I don’t recall.”

So, I know some of you losers will say, “Isn’t this ‘pay to play’”? No, you ostrich dick, it isn’t. Not if we do it. Only when Democrat scum do it.

Finally, there are the beautiful words of Fabien Baussart, president of that French think tank, following DonDon Jr.’s speech: “Thank you, Mr. Trump, for that golden hour. We’re sending your Dad a golden shower.”

Eyes on the prize, people, eyes on the prize.

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Andrew Feinberg

Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.
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