December 24, 2017 Can you believe that someone sent Steve “The Douche” Mnuchin a gift-wrapped box of horse manure for Christmas? Talk about the war against Christmas! Speaking of that,
Super Baby DonDon is Your Leader. Bow Down Before Me!
I have an incredible mind, the best mind. Where's my Nobel Prize, God dammit? Oh, that's for later. Anyway, this site will tell you things about me that even I don't know. We're going to have a lot of fun together messing with the country.
Ban the Words!!
December 17, 2017 You probably saw that I told the CDC that it could no longer use the words “fetus,” “transgender” and “science-based,” as well as four other terms. Cool,
Senator Kneepads
December 13, 2017 I am so mad at Senator Kirsten “Kneepads” Gillibrand for stirring up this phony cuntroversy. I refer her to the famous author, George Bernie Shore, who said
I Was Right! (I Was?)
December 13, 2017 First, I backed Big Luther in the primary—and he lost. Then I backed Roy Moore in the general election—and he lost, too. You be nice to Super
Today Is the Day!!
December 12, 2017 The title I am most proud of is president of Social Conservatives United for Molesters, BadBoys, Asshats and Gaybashers (SCUMBAG). If you are an Alabamahoovian, we need
My New Organization
December 8, 2017 I am so proud to have been named president of Social Conservatives United for Molesters, BadBoys, Asshats and Gaybashers (SCUMBAG). The first candidate we’re backing is Roy
Word Slurp
December 7, 2017 So now you weasels are accusing me of slurring my words. How dare you? I have the best words! I have the best slurs! Pocahontas!! I have
Subpeenie
December 5, 2017 So asshat Mueller is trying to subpeenie my account records from Deutsche Bank? I told Deutsche Bank that if they comply I will nuke them. So now
Prison Tip #8: Sex in Prison
December 4, 2017 You will have more sex in prison than you are having now. Well, all right! Get me in there. Soon, Super Baby DonDon, soon. And remember, having
Prison Tip #7
December 3, 2017 Bring money. Fine. I love money. But, oh, cash will be confiscated, so I should bring a money order. What’s a money order? But I’’m supposed to
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