Maybe Cute Will Work. Here, I’ll Try Cute

February 16, 2017

So I picked Vice Admiral Robert Harward to succeed Mike Flynn as my national security adviser—Flynn had been on the job for quite a while and felt he needed to spend more time with his family—and he turned me down! Privately, he called the position a “shit sandwich.”

Hey, that’s exactly what I tried to feed the media during my 77-minute press conference today but they didn’t seem to like the taste. Stupid media dogs, you were so mean to Super Baby DonDon today. Just because I accused you of spreading fake news all the time. Lying, stinking vermin.

Super Baby DonDon is so upset he may try a new approach. How about cute? Will cute work for you?

No? I didn’t think so. Rabid lying weasel dogs.

Until we meet again.

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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

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