Loco Like a Fox

Orange10432332_trump-x-magritte--a-new-series-of-mashups_tdeb6b4a8

September 1, 2016

Can this Baby DonDon pivot? And then pivot back? Sometimes I amaze myself.

I know you want the inside story of my meeting with Mexican President Pena Burrito. When we wee introduced, I said, “You can call me Mr. Trump and I’ll call you Sneaky Enrique.”

Yes! I won the first nickname round with a hit he never saw coming. Being presidential is just like fighting in the primaries.

So then he said Mexico would never pay for the wall. “You will, you bunghole,” i said.

Yes! And he did not insult me back. Go, Baby DonDon, go.

I said there hadn’t been a great male Mexican golfer since Lee Trevino. Sneaky Enrique didn’t know what to say. Baby DonDon wins again!

In Phoenix last night, I said Mexico would pay for the wall but that I never discussed the payment issue with His Sneakiness. Then Sneaky basically called me a liar.

Who has the nerve to call Baby DonDon a liar?

Oh, everyone? Still, it was really undiplomatic of him to call me a liar so soon after I lied. But I did establish an important point if we ever negotiate again. He knows I am willing to lie in public about anything he says. And that will freak him out and give me an edge.

Bottom line: My immigration policy is tough, vicious, compassionate, hard, soft and then hard again. It is whatever you want it to be. So come on white people, vote for Baby DonDon.

Please.

The following two tabs change content below.
Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.

Latest posts by Andrew Feinberg (see all)