I Hate Everyone in the White House!!

Steve Bannon

October 12, 2017

So Steve “How the Hell Could This Jerk Fire Me?” Bannon says there’s only a 30% chance I’ll finish my term. (That’s a relief. Boy, this job sucks.) Will I be the IM-peach? I asked him. No, they’ll use the 25th Amendment first, he said.

But, Steve, I thought there were only two amendments.

No, there are more, he said. And the 25th is a doozy. It means if your cabinet thinks you’re bonkers you go bye-bye.

Me no bonkers. I have the best bonk.

You’re unraveling, Mr. Super Baby DonDon. You’re deranged. We have to act fast to accomplish all the bad things we want to do before the men in white coats come to take you away.

Is the cabinet starting to wear white coats?

Not yet, but they will soon.

Do you want to come back to the White House?

Ha!

Ha?

Ha ha. Just tell Jared to perform an impossible anatomical act on himself. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Miss you, pookie.

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Andrew Feinberg

Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon. He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.
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