January 31, 2017
I guess you’ve heard that James “Mad Dog” Mattis is upset with our immigration ban and about not really being consulted about it beforehand. Now he is whining like a girly man! This a Marine? This is a Mad Dog?
Well, retired General Mattis, Super Baby DonDon is stripping you of your nickname and giving you a new one. From now on, you will be known as James “Sad Dog” Mattis. Take that! (You’re one outburst away from becoming “Bad Dog” Mattis.)
In a related move, my new commissioner of facts will be known as Kellyanne “Mad Dog” Conway.
Gen. Mattis has complained about being out of the loop. With me in charge, people, there is no loop. I am the loop! And I will make this the loopiest administration you have ever seen.
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Andrew Feinberg is the author of Four Score and Seven, a novel that imagines Abe Lincoln comes back to life for two weeks during the 2016 campaign and encounters a candidate who, some say, resembles Donald Trump. It is available on Amazon.
He is the author or co-author of five non-fiction books. His political journalism and humor have appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Playboy, GQ, Barron's and Kiplinger's Personal Finance.
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