July 12, 2017 Several stories yesterday mentioned that people called Don Jr. “Fredo” behind his back. Weird, I always thought Eric was Fredo. Could there be multiple Fredos in my
Month: July 2017
How Do You Say “The Negotiator” in Russian?
July 11, 2017 My lawyer has told me to get out in front of this story, so here goes. Mr. Mueller, here is what I propose: On a silver platter
My Nightmares
July 10, 2017 Oh, this story about Don Jr., Jared and Manafort meeting with the Russian lady lawyer keeps getting worse. Don Jr. got caught lying and basically admitting to
We’re Going to Need a Bigger Bus
July 9, 2017 So today the New York Times has a front-page story that Don. Jr., Jared and Paulie “Big Surprise, I’m Corrupt” Manafort had a meeting with a Kremlin-connected
Where Did Daddy Go?
July 8, 2017 So some of you mouth-breathers are upset that Ivanka sat in for me today at the G-20. Guess that means you get worried when someone other than
Lost in Translation
July 7, 2017 Had meeting with SuperVlad today, but something went wrong. I agreed to give SuperVlad a snow job. Then translator explained his mistake. I will get back to
Stomp a Journalist, Make Some Real Money!
July 4, 2017 Did you see that fantastic video I retweeted in which I’m bodyslamming CNN? Amazing. http://www.npr.org/2017/07/02/535267439/trump-tweets-clip-of-him-bodyslamming-cnn-network-says-do-your-job Well, His Most Excellent Super Baby DonDon hopes it inspires you to
You’re Darn Tootin’, I’ll Hug Vlad Putin!
July 3, 2017 On Friday I’m going to meet one-on-one with Putin while the world holds its breath. Suggestion: stock up on adult diapers now! Gonna go down in history
Put That on Your Barbecue and Grill It
July 2, 2017 So yesterday at the Kennedy Center—which will someday be called the Trump Center, just you wait—I went after the fake media and said, “I’m president and they’re
The Ballad of Joe and Mika
July 1, 2017 So my son-in-law Jared “Bubbles” Kushner has been screwing everything up that I’ve given him so far so I figured, hey, who’ll even notice another disaster? That’s
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