February 15, 2017 So many of you out there are rushin’ to judgment about why we tossed aside Mikhail Flynnskikorsakov like an empty bottle of Stoli. Relax, folks. It’s simple.
Month: February 2017
I Think I May Get Warts
February 14, 2017 Christ. I just called Melania and heard she was out and not expected back for many hours. Great. Here I am on Valentine’s Day hanging out at
St. Valentine’s Day Massacre
February 14, 2017 The honeymoon is so over. No, I’m not referring to my presidency. I’m talking about life with the first lady. When she speaks to me at all,
In Like Flynn?
February 13, 2017 Folks, I know great leaders don’t ask help from the little people, but right now Super Baby DonDon is so confused I don’t know what to do!
Fore!
February 12, 2017 So my golf outing yesterday at Trump National in Jupiter, FL with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe and four-time major champion Ernie Els was unbelievable. I showed
Baby DonDon vs. Kellyanne Cage Match
February 10, 2017 So I was in the can reading Bill Moyers (where his crap belongs) and he called Kellyanne Conway the “Queen of Bullshit” and a “professional con artist.”
You Attack Ivanka, You Attack America!
February 9, 2017 Nordstrom, you’re about as American as North Korea! Following your shameful ditching of my daughter Ivanka’s beautiful products, no one should shop at your stores. Maybe I’ll
You Have to Beat Your Meat
February 8, 2017 To the brave survivors of Bowling Green: As someone who massacres the truth many times every day, I feel your pain. Every time fake news outlets
Damn, If I Could Get Betsy DeVos Through . . .
February 7, 2017 Favorite wingman Roger Ailes told me I should have nominated Bill Cosby for secretary of education—after all, the man has a doctorate in education and isn’t a
The So-Called Resistance
February 6, 2017 So, just because your fearless leader, His Exalted Super Baby DonDon, DESTROYS an incompetent verdictizer by calling him a “so-called judge,” that well-known sheep-stroker Michael Moore calls
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